Three days ago, the idea of turning 20 wasn’t scary to me at all, I had looked forward to June 11 with so much enthusiasm.
That was until yesterday when I was listening to “Teenage Love” by Slick Rick. It was then I realised that I couldn’t relate to the situation he described in the song as I have never experienced that “teenage love”. And I would soon have to drop the much-cherished tag “teenager”.
Then, it occurred to me that it was not just the pre-twenty romance that I’m not going to be able to have to said I have experienced in two months time.
So I made a list of things I wish I had done with my teen-age but didn’t.
First, I wish I had let myself grow. I wanted to be that big guy really fast which had me trying to experience stuff that were supposed to be till later. An example is me force-growing this beard (yes ,Dami I did force it and no, it wasn’t spirit).
I also should have picked up an interest in a sport. But I didn’t. So when people talk footballese to me , I just give a blank stare with cold dead eyes. But ”I’m fine long as there’s batteries in my Walkman”. I’m starting to develop an interest in battle rap,so…
I should have given romance a try. But I’m one of those unromantic people who think those love stories on TV and in books are all trash and unrealistic. Never wrote a love letter or passed notes in sec school. Im saying im more “treat-her-like-prostitute” than “teenage-love” (Slick Rick reference, kids). Not that Im emotionless (Ive been called that, though), just that I find caring for somebody else other than myself impossible (call me selfish, I wear the badge proudly).
Another thing is that ever since I discovered hip hop, I always liked the tag “19 year old rapper”. I think I was 17 when I said I was going to put out a rap project at 19 and I would be tagged “Vickers, the 19 year old rapper” but Im almost a score and still hasn’t scored that project . On the bright side , Illmatic was releases when Nas was 20, so…
And there are a bunch of stuff I like about my teen-age .
Number one on that list is the fact that I discovered hip hop. I’m not talking watching music on the music channel. I was 17 when I started to thirst for that music. I was 18 when I decided to go back to the very beginning ,talking music of 80’s,90’s . And Im glad I did.
I like the fact that I’ve always been introspective. Being introverted gives me time to think and analyse things from different perspectives . So Im a great thinker but not a talker.
It has its down side though, I cant communicate emotions which is why I’m called emotionless by some. Its all good.
And the fact that I have this pragmatic approach to life . My friends call it pessimism , well …rose by any other name would still smell the same. Im not saying I don’t have hope or an optimistic outlook to life but one has to realize the world’s a jungle and be prepared for the worst, cause even then when it happens, it’d have lost element of surprise and one’d be in a better position to deal with it. ( I’ll write a post on that later).
I don’t know which of the list to put this
. Im a chorophobe. Not just somebody who cant dance but somebody who is scared of it. I think the whole concept is stupid. I guess I should have not become a chorophobe and enjoyed my teen-age but its almost over now. _
So as I end this post, I’m going to go out and enjoy the remaining two months as a teenager.
Thanks for reading.