This Right Here’s Not A Preview (Pre Monster’s Grief 5)

At times I ask myself why should there be an MG5
Fuck it no one is reading maybe I should let it die

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This right here is not a preview of MG5 but vread still,

At times I ask myself why should there be an MG5
Fuck it no one is reading maybe I should let it die
Then I realize a lot of these emcees lie
And I’m The Truth like that guy from “Let It Shine”
So it’s beddy bye, I’ll get it right this time to prove I’m next in line
Showing what’s behind the soundproof is what I’m doing every night
I hear these guys say my blog is tight and I’m like “well,it’s aiit ”
But when they say my words touches is when it gets scary right
Rhyming is power, soldiers cower when I grab my pen to write
Military forces get assaulted with such a deadly might
But how you wield this weapon is dependent on your strength of mind
So your lines may not be able to hurt a fly while mine will shoot you dead on sight
But I don’t write to impress you guys, I write ’cause I’m depressed inside
This feeling is intensified and it leaves me incensed at night
And that is why I have to write or else I’ll crash this deadly mind
You don’t know the pain I feel everyday when I sit to pen these rhymes
So don’t think I’m very nice, and you plagiarize ’cause then you’ll die
For once I catch you dead to rights, you can’t evade like Wesley Snipes
Scream hell and cry, no help in sight,tears won’t change the facts like Messi’s height
Look left and right, I’m the best in sight, now get ready for MG5!

Before I Turn 20

Three days ago, the idea of turning 20 wasn’t scary to me at all, I had looked forward to June 11 with so much enthusiasm.
That was until yesterday when I was listening to “Teenage Love” by Slick Rick. It was then I realised that I couldn’t relate to the situation he described in the song as I have never experienced that “teenage love”. And I would soon have to drop the much-cherished tag “teenager”.
Then, it occurred to me that it was not just the pre-twenty romance that I’m not going to be able to have to said I have experienced in two months time.
So I made a list of things I wish I had done with my teen-age but didn’t.

First, I wish I had let myself grow. I wanted to be that big guy really fast which had me trying to experience stuff that were supposed to be till later. An example is me force-growing this beard (yes ,Dami I did force it and no, it wasn’t spirit).

I also should have picked up an interest in a sport. But I didn’t. So when people talk footballese to me , I just give a blank stare with cold dead eyes. But ”I’m fine long as there’s batteries in my Walkman”. I’m starting to develop an interest in battle rap,so…

I should have given romance a try. But I’m one of those unromantic people who think those love stories on TV and in books are all trash and unrealistic. Never wrote a love letter or passed notes in sec school. Im saying im more “treat-her-like-prostitute” than “teenage-love” (Slick Rick reference, kids). Not that Im emotionless (Ive been called that, though), just that I find caring for somebody else other than myself impossible (call me selfish, I wear the badge proudly).

Another thing is that ever since I discovered hip hop, I always liked the tag “19 year old rapper”. I think I was 17 when I said I was going to put out a rap project at 19 and I would be tagged “Vickers, the 19 year old rapper” but Im almost a score and still hasn’t scored that project . On the bright side , Illmatic was releases when Nas was 20, so…

And there are a bunch of stuff I like about my teen-age .

Number one on that list is the fact that I discovered hip hop. I’m not talking watching music on the music channel. I was 17 when I started to thirst for that music. I was 18 when I decided to go back to the very beginning ,talking music of 80’s,90’s . And Im glad I did.

I like the fact that I’ve always been introspective. Being introverted gives me time to think and analyse things from different perspectives . So Im a great thinker but not a talker.
It has its down side though, I cant communicate emotions which is why I’m called emotionless by some. Its all good.

And the fact that I have this pragmatic approach to life . My friends call it pessimism , well …rose by any other name would still smell the same. Im not saying I don’t have hope or an optimistic outlook to life but one has to realize the world’s a jungle and be prepared for the worst, cause even then when it happens, it’d have lost element of surprise and one’d be in a better position to deal with it. ( I’ll write a post on that later).

I don’t know which of the list to put this
. Im a chorophobe. Not just somebody who cant dance but somebody who is scared of it. I think the whole concept is stupid. I guess I should have not become a chorophobe and enjoyed my teen-age but its almost over now. _

So as I end this post, I’m going to go out and enjoy the remaining two months as a teenager.
Thanks for reading.