Christmas At Home

Love, doves singing, the Sun blushing with a glow
It’s a classic happy TV show when I spend Christmas at home

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I woke up to the aroma of frying meat
Stepped in the kitchen, a pretty sight to see
Took a piece of chicken, my face with a smile so sweet
Then devoured it with the tenacity of fighters in Daenerys’ fighting pits
This is what I like to see, dining tables with shining faces
This is home, this is hope, I’m finally able to embrace it
Lil cousin baking that cake, mixing that pastry
Told her when I’m rich, I’ll take her to a thousand places
This is pure happiness, this is honey in a comb
Text messages, phone calls, you can feel the gushing in the tone
Love, doves singing, the Sun blushing with a glow
It’s a classic happy TV show when I spend Christmas at home

herovickers

For Eniola, lil cuz whose eyes fill mine with hope whenever I look upon them.

Happy holidays!
Spending Christmas at home this year was amazing and overwhelming! I guess it’s because I missed last year’s. It was so overwhelming that I had to write this piece above.
So thanks for reading.
Merry Christmas.

The Notion

Hello, happy holidays!

Prior to going back home for a break and getting this sudden wave of ideology (probably due to all the good food that I’ve missed for a while), I’ve always been a firm believer of the concept known as “Positive Pessimism” (I think I coined the concept, wait for my book! LOL Just Kidding…Not!) which is a way of using your vulnerability, insecurities, dark side etc. ( or whatever usually make you feel down or makes you less motivated) to be better , be more motivated and make progress. Its influence can be found in some of my writings, such as “Monster’s Grief 3”

“But my fear of failure spark ideas in an instance”

– and some others.

Positive Pessimism is actually a very real (practical) concept as it does not require you having to get rid of (or pretend to get rid of) the sad, dark, depressed part of yourself. Usually, getting rid of depression is one of the common methods people get motivated to be better than their current situation, but more often than not, it’s all make-believe.

A certain speaker says a bunch of catchy phrases, quotes some book, or a certain man and tell you to believe in yourself, and say it with conviction, SAY IT WITH CONVICTION! You’re in high spirits, you believe it, you’re ready, YOU’RE READY!… until you go home and you meet your old self waiting for you looking at you with that sadistic smile. And what’s next? You have to go back to listen to that speaker so you can always be in that mood again, and you have to repeat that cycle so as always be motivated.

Bottom-line is PP is a longer lasting solution as you’re the one doing the motivation by yourself, for yourself, to yourself.

*sigh* I did not really set out to talk about PP today. But I guess I did anyway.

I think the reason I have the idea in my head is that ever since I could remember I’ve always been a perfectionist (not the fake perfectionist people claim to be) together with the never ending perfect goals, the depression of never being perfect (no matter how close, or no matter how people say how good you are) and the emptiness that comes along with it.

The perfectionist that I am knows that achieving these really high standards is implausible (Thanks, Sheldon!) and it saddens me, and that’s understandable. But most times, this feeling gets transferred to even the small, and very achievable goals and so people see us as pessimists who do not believe anything would ever work. Well, it’s all good.

After this realization, I’ve come to terms to accept, in 2016, a concept I’ve never been able to grasp ever since: HOPE.

So, yeah, for me, 2016 is the year of HOPE, and I hope it is the same for you.

Thanks for reading.

Herovickers.

 

 

Him And Her

What is love if you’re not here with me?

Look at everything that you left me with

HIM

What is love if you’re not here with me?

Look at everything that you left me with

Experiences endless, it’s even in the air we breathe

The tear stains on this letter are tearing me –

-apart, my heart throbs with pain without you

Tried so hard to move on but I don’t know how to

If I knew that before, I could have laid some ground rules

Like “never love, ‘cause to fail it’s bound to”

I can’t live without you, I can’t live with you

 I thought I was tough enough but my heart really feeble

Tried to mask my emotions but they’re really see-through

Relationship status complicated but this is really simple:

You’re gone.

 

HER

You keep saying it was me who left you

But it was you who pushed me away I tell you

You never even imagined the pain I went through

When I said “bye”, my heart bled through

I miss you but coming back is something I can’t do

How can I say this and not offend you

I’m tired of your drama, so Mr. Playwright, I’ll pass, thank you.

 

herovickers

 

Hi vreader, it’s nice to see you again. How’s the harmattan feeling like? I’d make some harmattan jokes but that’d be really dry right? J

So like I said in my last post, I’m stepping out of the usual character I write as. This is from the perspective of two former lovers (something, I trust you can relate to).

There is always the one lover finding it hard to let go after a breakup. Most times, we think only of how we feel regardless of how our actions affect the other party.

This piece is inspired by the song “What Is Love” by Empire Cast (feat. V. Bozeman), as is evident in my use of a few lines from it. It was the first song on the show “Empire”, it captivated me in the pilot.

Errm , I need to figure out a way to end blog posts. J

So, thanks for vreading. Share, comment and tweet at me @herovickers. See you later?

herovickers

 

 

 

Empty (Part 2) – Dead Inside

Now I’m numb to the pain and I feel empty inside

Broken down so many times, no more tears in my eyes

I miss the darkness

Thought this would never happen like a gambler’s last bet

When life tested me and I never passed then

The gloom and sadness, all the times I masked them

When plans fell apart and I would complain

When I almost reached the goal but drawn back by these taut chains

When my heart was crushed by fate’s long train

And the pieces that remain are like small grains

Now I’m numb to the pain and I feel empty inside

Broken down so many times, no more tears in my eyes

I’ve snapped completely and I can’t be revived

No longer believe in “mysterious ways” and “blessings in disguise”

So don’t tell me it’ll be fine, because I’m dead inside

The walking dead, it’s a no-brainer, I have an empty mind

I’m dead inside.

 

 

Hi vreader. It’s been a minute since I made a post on here. So I’m posting this piece as a way to get back right on track (as soon I can spare time to write ‘cause I got a lot of stuff to write).

Anyway, I wrote this piece on a 3-hour long journey. I decided to step out of the depressed guy character this time…into a character more damaged- a numb soul, a soulless person. Yeah people like this exist. It can stem from frustration based on so much depression from life experiences that’d shape the character from being someone who didn’t believe it could get better to someone who doesn’t believe it could get worse…to someone who doesn’t believe in anything.

This is someone who has been broken.

PS: If you haven’t read “Empty” part one, click here

And I’m gonna write more stuff from a new direction this December.

It’s gonna be legen- wait for it – dary!