Dear Kronos, I am not fooled 

Dear Kronos, I’m not fooled.

You see I’ve been here so many times that I know your M. O. Trust me. But this time, you overdid yourself. I just gotta write this letter.

It’s crazy how you act like you are in total control of time ( well you actually are )  and you just bitch around with it.

Sometimes I just want to win and you make it very difficult. It’s so crazy that I think there’s no chance of winning.

Then you give me a little chance at joy like a little drop of water from Lazarus’ finger to the Biblical proverbial rich man. Oh, what elation! Oh what ecstacy!

And I forget the bad times and bask in the light at tunnel’s end. And then…

You do it again!

You take away all the light like a black hole and plunge me into the bottomless pit and leave me spiraling out of control and out of my mind.

It’s a stupid and vicious cycle, really. I understand.

So I’m surprised why for a while you have just left me happy without a downturn. Like you have forgotten that you have to make everything bad again. Like this is how it’s always going to be.

But I know you, Oh Kronos, I know you. You’re just bidding your time, trying lull me into a false sense of security before you pull your most wicked heist yet, you joy thief!

See I’m not scared of your scythe, in fact I’m ready for it. This letter is just the final step in amouring myself with non-chalance.

So you can do what you like Kronos.  I don’t care anymore.

-Victor

Thanks for reading guys, and check out my new video

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Empty (Part 3) – Heavy Dirty Soul 

Because this dark cloud doesn’t ever leave me alone 
Life tests F-ed me up and had me eating a stone 

 

I feel empty but my soul’s heavy 
Imprisoned with no one to pay my soul’s levy
I tried to push my problems up a vertical slope 
But it crashed down on me and shattered my hope 
I’m crowned with fear and garbed in doubt 
My throne is filled with thorns but I’m too numb to shout 
Despair is my sceptre and my kingdom is pain 
I’m the king of losers and it pours when I reign 
Because this dark cloud doesn’t ever leave me alone 
Life tests F-ed me up and had me eating a stone 
Life would throw me a bone and throw me to the dogs 
Water me till I’m grown then cut me for logs 
They say when you’re down, you need fear no fall 
But I’m spiralling down the bottomless with no pit stops
Then it stopped but I shattered my feet 
My blood is ice-cold now and my heart doesn’t beat. 
Empty

– herovickers 

Hello. It’s been a long while since I walked these WordPress streets. I’ve got a couple more posts coming too, so watch this space. 

I don’t really have much to say about this “Empty.” It’s just me… I mean…the character moping as usual. 

You should check out previous instalments of “Empty” : 

Thanks. 


 

un316

I fear for him because he’ll lose his mind
I fear for him because he’ll be leaving in a bier
I fear for him because he’ll lose his pride
I fear for him because I see him every day in the mirror

What is the hope for a writer that can’t write?
                                     a giant that can’t fight ?
                                    a lion that can’t bite?
How does he battle the demons on the page
                                    the villagers when they rage
                                    those trying to put him in a cage
He’s defenceless and his soul is empty
                                     they’re going to behead him
                                     the jungle king’s reign will end quick
I fear for him because he’ll lose his mind
I fear for him because he’ll be leaving in a bier
I fear for him because he’ll lose his pride
I fear for him because I see him every day in the mirror
-Victor

Clueless

How can I repent
When I’m a sinner by choice

How can I win the game 
When I have already been defeated 
How can I be saved 
When I don’t wanna be delivered

How can I be sure 
When I still constantly doubt myself 
How can I ignore 
This pain when I hurt myself

How can I believe 
When I am living a lie
How can I leave 
This pain when I cannot say goodbye

How can I repent 
When I’m a sinner by choice 
How can I invent
When my mission is to destroy

Haunted

I keep my face expression-less these days
’cause even a fake smile cannot mask this pain

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I keep my face expression-less these days

’cause even a fake smile cannot mask this pain

My train of thoughts moves faster than speed trains

Imagining scenarios when I could have had it changed

Now the cows are home and the milk is spilt

I’m being haunted by demons in my dreams and sleep

I’m at the edge but I’m walking like I don’t see the cliff

Tears about to burst, but I’m struggling to keep it within

Struggling to put it all behind me, but it just keeps springing

My conscience pricks me and my heart begins to bleed

Despair and doubt , they both live with me

I don’t see 3:16 nor do I see reason

Please leave me, I need no more company for this misery

I tell everyone I’m fine but I’m shaken visibly

I’m sinking deep and going down all the way

When I’m tortured by memories of the past that I cannot erase

herovickers.

 

Hello vreader. I guess we have all been at this point ( and for some more often than others). You just want to be alone and sulk and you shoot “Misery loves company” in the face. You just want to deal with your stuff by yourself.

You wish you could have done things differently or just messed up a life opportunity. You want to tear your hair out and aaaaaaaarrrrGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! YOU WANNA SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s where I was when I wrote this.

Thanks for reading.

    PS

  • Still working on the ending posts stuff.
  • Fucking perfectionism!!