Monster’s Grief 2

Vread the part 2 of monster’s grief

Stuck in the abyss again
So deep, getting high couldn’t ease the pain
This fall is fatal, can’t even face the
Image of myself in the mirror, shameful!
Was so grateful , that I had control
Then I realised that I was my foe
I lost my focus, couldn’t face facts
Repeated same acts, that knocked me comatose
Now, I’m on my toes, screaming and gasping for air
Expecting the ladder to appear ’cause I have been there
A thousand times already, ready to start the journey again
Again, I had everything to lose and nothing to gain
“This is the last time” , I said that the last time
And before that , I’m beyond sad on how I spend my pastime
Tears dropping like rain, ’cause of fear, anguish and pain
Like a titanic passenger panicking before She capsized
This is my last fight, facing myself
Like Scott Pilgrim, it all seems grim
My reflection stares back at me, it’s horrific
There’s a hanging rope above and we can’t reach it
Without falling in, there goes the last piece of hope
This needs to be fixed, where is Olivia Pope
Only way for us to cope is for us both to stay put
Cause winners only exist in folklores and fables
THIS IS REAL LIFE, full of shock and pain
Where the battle with yourself is a constant K
Till your hair turns grey, let the heavens shake
From the power in your will, to let hell loose…Hey!

This one is a lot different from the first one as it appears impersonal, ambiguous and I didn’t name-drop any of my friends. It was meant to be like that.
I was trying to fight an addiction and countless times, I decided I needed to control my desire and stop that instant. And countless times, I fell and had to start the climb again.
At times, after convincing myself to stop , I’d say “one more, then no more”. How many times I did that? I’ve lost count. Some other times, I count streaks, then I get too excited about making progress and cut myself some slack. Then its back to ground zero, back to square one.
Sad, isn’t it?
The problem was that I had believed that once I made the decision , the addiction would go away that instant , like there was a genie somewhere granting wishes of people trying to end their addiction . So, I’d let my guard down believing it was easy.
It isn’t easy.
Once you’re hooked, really hooked on something , it becomes a lifetime of detaching yourself from it.
The moment you realise that is when you start the climb to rise above your downfall. That’s when you start laying the bricks to build your Rome.
So you don’t relax, you keep working constantly at it. Gradually, you start to gain control till you reach a point where you feel you’ve escaped your prison of addiction fully. Even then, you have to realise it’s a continuous battle, so you don’t fall again.

That’s a lot of words explaining a not-such-wordy rap verse. Such much can be said in so little rhymes, don’t you agree?

monster’s grief

Vread,

Hey, I’m Vickers and I’m depressed
I went from bragging that I’m the best
To producers being never impressed
With my raps,I’m looked upon as a pest
It’s really sad ’cause , I give it my all
Is it my fault, I don’t have Pryme’s voice
Or IcePrince’s swag or rap like Skales
Rap’s a maze,I’m tryna find my pace
Always getting complaints like the customer care
I shouldn’t be pissed,it shows the customer cares
Some of my peers say I can’t summon ideas
Well, the truth is only told by someone that cares
I respect critics, is why I listen to Kris
I expect friends to speak, if they aint feeling my shit
But my best friends are yes men, yes man I’m pissed
Not at them, just pissed at me
I thought rap would give me great fame and fortune
But all I ever got was straight face and fuck you
So in this light, I tried to quit twice
Sifon showed the insight, I gotta ignite
Now I’m a monster like Beats by Dre it feels right
Long as I can still write, aint quiting this fight
“Focus on the mic, get your shit right
And the ladies will be psyched whenver you’re in sight”
They used to say that my flow’s dead
And that I rapped like I’m tone deaf
Hope you are ready fo’ the TV and the radio
If you don’t wannt hear me yo, GO DEAF!

Months ago I had a frustrating experience. I couldn’t move on till I wrote this. I just let the insecurity, anger , self doubt and disappointment out. And it made me realise that, once you begin to admit your weaknesses, right then you can start to see your strength ( as evident in the final part ).
The best friends part is annoying (there’s another monster’s grief about that). You expect them to be honest but no, they don’t want to hurt you. That’s stupid.
Which is why I respect critics ( especially the ones who seek to attack you ). :p

Real stuff right there.

I’m back

Vreaders, it’s been months since a post has been made on here. So why am I back, reviving this failed attempt at becoming another “blogger” ?
Well,there’s not much you can do when you’re on a break except to play video games , watch series , write lyrics and have conversations with your imaginary hot supermodel girlfriend ūüė¶

*sigh*

Vickers – Reflections ft Sifon (lyrics)

What’s¬†good¬†Vreaders?¬†It’s¬†been¬†long¬†since¬†I¬†made¬†a¬†post¬†on¬†here..¬†How’s¬†y’all¬†prepping¬†for¬†the¬†chrismas?
Anyway,¬†I’ll¬†be¬†posting¬†the¬†lyrics¬†to¬†an¬†unreleased¬†song¬†off¬†a¬†project¬†(¬†SOSA¬†mixtape.)¬†.¬†The¬†title¬†is¬†“Refelections”,¬†it’s¬†a¬†cover¬†of¬†Hopsin’s¬†Ill¬†mind¬†of¬†Hopsin¬†6(Old¬†Friend).
Tell me what you think about it.

[Intro]
Most times we are too busy talking and acting when the solution is just reflection

Vickers , Seez , SOSA !

[Verse 1]
I’m¬†trying¬†to¬†spread¬†this¬†news¬†like¬†a¬†ripple
Gather¬†around¬†y’all,this¬†is¬†the¬†real¬†truth
I¬†wanna¬†puke,I’m¬†sick¬†of¬†this¬†evil
Leaders make expenses at the expense of the people
So, literally we had to pay the price
And it made me write hoping for a change in sight
But it seems non-existent like flaming ice
Life is a game of chance,leaders always shake the dice
Always in control of the masses
They¬†call¬†it¬†democratic,¬†but¬†I¬†don’t¬†understand¬†it
The practice is wrong , the fact is that some
Of those tormenting us with fire all rose from the ashes
Now they thorns in the flesh for those who made them blossom
It’s¬†the¬†custom,¬†they¬†make¬†the¬†rules¬†but¬†don’t¬†enforce¬†’em
So I pour some of my rage on this track
And¬†cause¬†some¬†permanent¬†damage¬†to¬†the¬†badman’s¬†conscience

[Hook: Sifon]
Me look and me see my reflection
Some are finna change my complexion
Badman in charge of the nation
Oh Jah Jesus show us direction

[Verse 2]
Bombing up North leaves families in sorrow
Is¬†it¬†tomorrow¬†it’ll¬†end¬†only¬†Jah¬†know
Spent¬†75¬†million¬†on¬†a¬†cake¬†but¬†they¬†don’t¬†know
The plight of the teachers of the leaders of tomorrow
The youth are walking the streets
With crime on the increase
ASUU¬†strike,¬†nothing’s¬†right¬†,this¬†shit¬†aint¬†funny¬†to¬†me
NO! This shit aint funny to me
We really need change but what could that possibly be
And in spite of all these , they sit in the office 
Bad health, no problem, they fly outta the country
There’s¬†a¬†virus¬†in,¬†something’s¬†wrong¬†with
The¬†system¬†but¬†they¬†act¬†like¬†it’s¬†nothing
Myopia at the top so what kinda vision is 
20-20-20¬†when¬†we¬†can’t¬†see¬†the¬†future¬†please
After the change in power, still no stable power
We’re¬†miles¬†apart¬†but¬†they¬†saying¬†“lean¬†on¬†me”

[Hook]

[Verse 3]
We only think of our shine but never reflect
On the state of our State, remember we went
Through dark times, the periods we wept
Movements that caused changes like the Doppler effect
Now the stage is set for a bigger change
Stage managers all tryna rearrange
No change in cast so no leader change
So if you want a change, you gotta be the change

[Sample: Excerpts from an Obama speech]

VIckers – Your Girl ft Sikar (lyrics)

[Intro]
Be my boo,be your girl
Be my boo,be your girl

[Hook: Sikar]
I can be your girl,you’ll be my boo
I’ll take your heart,take it to the moon
I’ll stay with you,I’ll never leave you
You’ll be my boo,I’ll be your girl

[Verse 1: Vickers]
This is the story of a girl,name was Stephanie
Outspoken girl ’cause she was telling me
First time we met she saw her boyfriend in me
And that she loves me to death,there’s no remedy
And she was hard to resist
Like some free change in front of a broke kleptomaniac
So beautiful it was hard to believe
That her type could chase guys and it made me ask
“What is it that you want from me?”
She said,”Vickers,whenever I’m with you,you make me happy”
But I kept her on the waiting list
And that shit turned her into a maniac,I’m saying that
She was desperate and wasn’t ready to wait
Superglued herself to me,couldn’t separate
And she made sure,whenever she wakes up,she always gives me a call, and she would say

[Hook]

[Verse 2: Vickers]
Months passed and she was still on me
And she would still call me and still promise
That she will love me
Forever ,’cause without me she’ll be nothing
She wouldn’t cheat on me
Breakfast in bed every single morning
And to top this she doesn’t need money
She was like “Victor please,just give me one week
Let’s be together and you’ll screaming ‘More please!!'”
Weeks turned to months,months tuned to years
She got what she wanted ’cause she persevered
I got more than I wanted,to be sincere
Though we had ups and downs like a piston and
We’re not perfect but she’s perfect for me
And she leaving me is all I dread
But really don’t you think this is funny
That it all started out all ’cause she said

[Hook]

[Verse 3: Sikar]
I’ll never leave you boy
I’ll stand beside you boy
With all my heart and my soul
I will be beside you
Your love is like the rainbow (?) my sky
Ooooh my baby

[Hook]

The Art of Item7 hunting

1) *hostel setting,hungry male students seen around*

Bro Jonas : I am inviting you guys cordially to my church for a special program taking place tomorrow tagged “Be ye filled in the spirit”
Students : *ignores*
Bro Jonas : So are you guys coming ?
GaIus : No
Bro Jonas : Why ?
John : Well,that’s ’cause,right now, we’ll rather attend a program tagged “Be ye filled in the BELLY”
Bro Jonas : Brothers, I understand fully. ITEM 7 go dey na.
Gaius: Serious? When is the program starting?!!!!! WE MUST COME

*Bro Jonas leaves*
John : I’m confused. Don’t you have class tomorrow?
Gaius : Oboy, fashi dat class . Na where my belle face, I dey go

2) *it’s Saturday*
John : Oboy , guys wetin I go chop? What did you guys cook?
Gaiuis : Do we look like your girlfriends to you ? Fuck outta here!

*Karo strolls in,smiling,with a piece of paper in his hands*

John: Nigga, why have you got a smile on ? You no know say boys dey H for here?
Karo: Nigga,chill
Gaius: Chill for where? Wen we dey roast for here..
Karo: I know, I know…..that’s why I came in to invite you guys to a wedding. Reception’s in 25 minutes.
John: *snatches paper from Karo* Lemme see that *reads paper* nice. We fit trek there sef.

*they go to the wedding,they eat enough food to last two days*

Gaius: Thanks man. I haven’t eaten a decent meal in months.
Karo: We go dey do dis every Saturday. Weddings equal free lunch and dinner.
Gaius: What do you mean? Isn’t the bride your cousin?
Karo: Cousin ke? I don’t even know who she is.
John: And you were acting like you were a long-lost cousin…
Gaius: We even got extra food.. *laughs* They probably believed your little story
John: *laughing* Oh I remember. You were like “my mother’s brother eldest son got married to your father’s sister first cousin’s last daughter …….. from the maternal side”
Karo: Then she had that confused look *grins*
Gaius: You be bad guy. Next Saturday,I’ll be somebody’s long-lost primary schoolmate who was in the same class with their younger sister
John: *laughing hysterically* All for Item7
Karo: That’s the hustle , my niggas .Even free lunch comes at a cost,however little.

Vreaders (that’s what I called my readers,FYI) , what’s up? I hope you enjoyed the introduction. It basically sums up the whole post. Well, let me start by giving you an insight into the origin of the term “Item7” .
Item7 originated from programs of parties (weddings,birthdays and all) that , more often than not , have the words “Menu Menu Menu” printed at item number seven. This refers to food.
Item7 hunting refers to a situation (usually on Saturdays) when a group of hungry young men ( usually students ) decide to take advantage of a free gift of nature ( or free gift of culture,lol ) by celebrating with unknown party organisers.
Item7 is a free gift because it’s a constant at parties.No party is complete without the Item7.This is why Item7 is usually towards the end of the party.
There are certain skills that need to be acquired before one goes on Item7 hunting.They include:

1)Timing
Timing is important as the motive of the young man is to maximize resources,one of which is time.The guy makes sure he goes very late towards the end so he gets exactly what he came for without having to participate in “irrelevant” activities.

2) Patience
This is known to all experts in the field.You don’t just go to a party and expect them to give you food (especially since you don’t look familiar).And you don’t want to draw unnecessary attention(as you’re uninvited), so you ask calmly for your food.

3) “Sharpness”
The fact that you need to be patience does not mean they tell you to pass food and you pass and pass till it gets finished …and you don’t have your own. Nah! That’s not being patient,that’s being a “bolo” .So you get what I mean by sharpness.

4)Outlook
You need to give them a proper outlook,that is , a smile on your face, proper dress and all. You don’t go there looking like a beggar. Remember it’s a food hunting expedition , you’re NOT begging. But don’t over-do things and be too conspicuous.

5)NO MERCY!!!!
Well, you know what to do if you’re told to serve yourself in a buffet. Remember ” no carry last”.

Item7 is not always sought after.It can be used as a bait . Religious bodies already know this as a rule of thumb that students can’t be forced into coming to their program but can be enticed with promises of Item7 as can be seen in the first part of the post.
Different denominations organise religious fresher’s parties and you’d see students attending up to three places of worship a day ( stalites inclusive) just to maximise ( economists,hello).

Item7 hunting is most times not really about the food.It’s the thrill and the exhiliration in it that keeps young men going back to weddings every week. To get the main idea, you should watch the video of “Mogbo Moya” by Tunde and Wunmi Obe .

I hope to see you on Saturday at the next wedding applying these skills . Happy hunting!

@herovickers

PS
My first song’s going to be released on sifon’s blog soon!!!!!! Anticipate!

30 minutes

Thirty minutes was all that it took to take me from a mental state of being in perfect calm to a to a state of despair,anger and total melancholy.

Hi,I’m Vickers and this is my first post here…so do not expect anything awesome ( this guy is ), don’t expect anything incredible (this other guy is ) …..

Right! Now that we’ve done the introductions…….back to the topic

*playing throughout the post is the instrumental of Big Sean’s Control *

It all started last week Thursday when I checked my exam timetable for the date of the last paper.I saw that it was on Saturday,then I jumped on my bed and tweeted the day away while listening to the responses to Kendrick. Basically,the same thing happened the next day. My mind was at rest, as calm as a newborn baby sleeping….(u get ? I don’t think you do….it was as calm as a newborn baby sleeping in a cot in a quiet beach with a gentle lullaby playing from a record player…………with nobody around him #extendedmetaphorLol) .
I prepared for the exam and slept like a baby…….or like the baby I described above. Then I waited for the school bus to come ….but it didn’t come.Other students left for the exam…but I waited having faith,waiting patiently……till about 30 minutes to the exam,it dawned on me that the bus wasn’t coming.

*Control instrumental stops playing abruptly*

I then unplugged my earphones and started searching frantically for a bus to convey me to school (if you haven’t guessed that I stay far from school,then SMH for u) . For ten minutes of pure torture and despair,I searched and searched.But I was unlucky and afraid…..I was so sad and angry….but there was nothing I could do.
(I wished then I had Flash’s powers…..ok Flash’s own is too much….maybe Hulk…….no not be run to school,but to beat up…..myself…I was that delusional)

Then my miracle came .

* ‚ÄúI‚Äôm on top of the world,in front of the crowd‚ÄĚ *

Only those DBanj‚Äôs lyrics can describe how I felt at that moment.I saw a brandnew chaffeur-driven Limousine in front of me waiting ‚Ķ.when in reality,it was just an ordinary ‚Äúol yaw shange oh(hold your change)‚ÄĚ bus..I dashed across the road like Superman not caring about the numerous mad drivers. I didn‚Äôt even realize there was heavy traffic, I thought the bus was waiting for just me.I jumped in and waited for the bus to move.Then it occurred to me,that ‚Äúwe don jam hold-up‚ÄĚ.

*dbanj stops playing*

I checked the time,and realised I had 20 minutes left to the commencement of the paper.My eyes produced tear fluid‚Ķ. (Niggas don‚Äôt cry,right? ).My eyes were red.I lost hope. Then as I wanted to start with the ‚ÄúPlease God let this bus move and I‚Äôll stay away from rap for a week‚ÄĚ ‚Ķthe driver started the bus.

*scene changes ‚Äď Igbo church,I‚Äôm Emeka holding a microphone‚Ķ#testimonyTime *

* now playing ‚Äď Shut up and drive*

The driver was still making jokes with the conductor,when I yelled at him ‚Äúshut up AND DRIVE!!! ‚ÄĚ . Ok,I lied UOENO. I didn‚Äôt yell but I wanted to‚Ķ.. After all the drama,I finally got into the exam hall 5 minutes after commencement.

What happened after that?

I don’t remember as I have this habit of FORMATTING my memory of any semester’s lecture and exam….( J Cole’s lyrics gotta go somewhere right? ).

Thanks for reading and noticing all the gbagauns….drop a comment…. . Vickers ff me @herovickers